Welcome to where and how it all started!
At age 15 I was classified with severe fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue. I remember being at that doctor’s office like it was yesterday. My parents to the left of me, the doctor to the right – he stated as-a-matter-of-factly-non-chalantly: “Oh yes, yes, she has quite severe fibromyalgia.” My dad started crying, my mom started asking questions. From there, I started my rounds to hundreds of doctors, specialists and hospitals. At that time, fibromyalgia was only just starting to be “accepted” by the medical community in adults, so having someone my age was super uncommon and no one knew what to do with me. By 18, I was swimming in prescription pills to “manage” my symptoms and I was miserable and ANGRY. I was on 80mg (prescribed) of adderall in order to get through a day (aka I was addicted and completely dependent) – that’s how severely fatigued I was. I literally couldn’t function without it. I would set my alarm every morning for an hour before I actually had to get up and place a glass of water with two of those little orange pills (equaling 40mg) right next to my phone. When my alarm went off in the morning, I would stumble to turn it off, take those pills and go back to bed until the medication actually started to activate and wake me. Halfway through the day I would take another “dose” when my engines started to slow and I started to come down off of the high the medication gave me. Yeah…real smooth Lauren, real smooth.
Between the ages of 15 and 23 I also dealt with: lupus, lyme, chronic auric migraines weekly (loss of speech, numbness, tingling), malabsorption, heavy metal toxicity, parasites, colon toxicity, depression, anxiety, insomnia, chronic pain and muscle spasms (you couldn’t even see my spine or shoulder blades because it was all one large mass of hard-as-rock muscle fascia), gut dysbiosis, frozen shoulder, liver toxicity, digestion issues and honestly more than I can remember.
Finally, my senior year of my business undergrad, I LOST IT. I was in so much agony –physically, mentally and emotionally – that I hit a breaking point one day. I literally (vengefully) ripped the medicine cabinet harboring my sea of prescription medications off of the wall and threw it on the ground. I picked up the fallen medications and threw them at the wall, floor and just about anything that seemed like it would feel good. I then collapsed on the floor sobbing, wishing I wasn’t me, wishing I didn’t have to deal with this agony anymore. Welcome to my rock bottom!
*Enter reality check and ah-ha realizations*
That was the best day of my life, that’s when it all changed. It finally dawned on me that, okay, all these doctors are promising me a life of MANAGING symptoms (aka misery I was drowning in) and if I felt THIS miserable (emotionally, physically, mentally) at age 23, then what the hell did I have to look forward to the rest of my life? IT MADE NO SENSE. Why are all my friends fine and I’m not? Why couldn’t I be normal and feel great like everyone else? There had to be another way… SOMETHING WASN’T RIGHT. I finally realized that things weren’t adding up. That day I made a decision that I wouldn’t live that way anymore. I knew there must be a better way, and I set out to find it.
You see, after that day, living in a dis-eased body was never an option for me. It was either heal myself or die trying.
I am here to lead by example. I am here to teach the masses what I learned along my journey and how they too, can heal themselves. I am here to remind people that only they can heal themselves. I am here to remind people of the innate intelligence of our bodies and the fact that they are far more capable than they’ve been led to believe. I am here to remind people that they don’t have to be okay with their diagnosis and “label” and that they have the power to do something about it. I am here to teach people how to move from being the victim, to the one in charge.
I am so grateful to have you here and just want to remind you that whatever you’re going through, it’s happening FOR you, not to you. Stay tuned for much, much, much more to come!
Light, Love and Wonder,